Controlling Your Thoughts Leads to More Happiness
Periodically evaluate you thought patterns and strive to have more positive and less negative thoughts.
By Leland E Pulley
Most of the time in daily life we do not consciously think about our thoughts or thought patterns. Yes, we are thinking and having thoughts, but not actually monitoring them. For most hours on most days this is OK. However, periodically we need to stop the clock and review what type of thoughts we have on a regular basis, and where these are coming from. This may sound like an unnecessary interruption in life. But if you really want to have the best performance on a consistent basis, some review and evaluation of your thought patterns is essential.
Let's start with something simple. What causes you to be impatient with yourself and especially with others? Here are some examples.
Is it traffic holding you up, especially when you have an appointment? Long lines in stories are not appreciated either. Everyone seems to be in a hurry. Most of this hurry is not necessary nor good for mental health.
You may be trying to do something, and things are not working out your way. You can't seem to get it right or do a good job with the task. This causes frustration and impatience.
As you interact with others, they may say things to you or about you which you do not appreciate and agree with. Sometimes you may be able to talk to them and resolve the issue. But many times, you do not talk to them and harbor neutral or negative feelings about them. Obviously, this hinders friendship and cooperation.
The individuals who have the most power to cause you to be impatient are family members. You try to explain yourself and they do not listen well. You give instructions and they do not follow your instructions. You forgive them, but they do not forgive you. You have asked them to change some of their habits, but they don't do this. These types of things cause you to become impatient with them in specific areas and eventually impatient with them in general. If these things occur too much or too often between the parent and child, this can eventually lead to the parent decreasing efforts to help the child. If these things occur between husband and wife and they are not corrected, this can eventually lead to divorce.
You have worked for a company for years. Your expectations are not only salary increases but an eventual promotion. These things do not occur as fast as you wanted nor expected. You start to become impatient with your job and even a few individuals who work with you. This shows up as less enthusiasm and less cooperation with fellow workers. You simply are not as happy and do not put forth your best efforts. These types of circumstances can lower positive thoughts to neutral thoughts and eventually to negative thoughts. It takes a strong individual to keep control of thought patterns and not let these be manipulated or controlled by other people and circumstances.
Impatience is related to and supports frustration. Both decrease happiness. Think about all the ways you become impatient and frustrated. What can be done to decrease both of these?
Unresolved problems can linger with us for years. Not enough job training and lack of education can hinder the ability to earn a good income. We regret that months and years have gone by, and we did not act in a positive and assertive manner to address this issue. Now we are unhappy. We can easily let regret and thoughts related to it resurface in our mind periodically.
Poor decisions can affect us for a long time. You invest money in a particular venture and within a year or two you have lost a lot of that money. Now you sit there and say why didn't I investigate further before I invested my own money. You can't get the money back and you are not a bank that has lots of excess cash to lose. It will take time to recover financially. Meanwhile, that experience has left a bitter pill in your mouth. You may overcompensate and be hesitant to risk money in the future even for a good venture.
It takes wisdom and an open mind to take advantage of opportunities that come along in our lives. Even then we may not have the courage and guts to do something about this. But many times, it's best to take a leap of faith and thrust yourself into an activity or an adventure than to do nothing at all. How many of us have said to ourselves we should have done that ten years ago or five years ago. We can't buy back time and in most cases some opportunities only come once. Lost opportunities tend to drag us down. They contribute to pessimism and doubt. Your overall mood is more passive and neutral. This is not happiness.
One of the best ways to have thought control is to avoid having an idle mind for too long during each day. A little bit of daydreaming is OK. But a mind that is not occupied in good things is subject to random thoughts being placed in it. Unimportant or insignificant thoughts can fill your mind frequently during the day. Some thoughts can be harmful to you if allowed in your mind too often and for too long each time they reappear. Remember, a few minutes here and a few minutes there can add up to a few hours a day and many hours per week. Preserve your mental time for positive thoughts and endeavors.
Learn to protect positive thought patterns in your mind and decrease or eliminate negative thought patterns. Find ways to inspire yourself. Listen to your favorite type of music. Have spiritual experiences. Express your love to people. There are many ways to reinforce and increase positive thought patterns in your mind. This will help you to decrease negative thought patterns. For example, do not let old wounds open up again in your mind after they are resolved one way or another. It is easy to allow sexual images to float into your mind when it is idle rather than being occupied and busy. Inadvertently you can begin to plot a way to get back at somebody who did something negative to you. Usually, this type of scheming hurts you and the other person. Avoid replaying in your mind some experience that was negative or in which you experienced failure. This is reinforcing the negative.
Failure of all types can easily plant negative impressions and thoughts in your mind. Instead of letting failure pull you down, strive to learn from it and do better next time. Experiencing failure does not mean you are a failure. Accumulate success stories and automatically these will dampen out the effects of failures.
Coveting what others have and you do not have leads to unhappiness. Seek to be satisfied with what you have and what you can realistically do over time to improve your situation in life.
Sharing thoughts and experiences with others is usually an uplifting experience that is remembered for a long time. It's easy to think back on such experiences and still have positive thoughts about them. This type of sharing provides variety in life and adds to your true joy which comes from good living. These types of experiences put into your mind on a consistent basis will overshadow or overcome negative thoughts and feelings. This is a very strong and positive approach to mind control.
Be honest with yourself at all times and in all ways. It is easier to manage your life and affairs when honesty is the only policy. There are also less regrets with honesty. Your honesty with self will then make it easier to be honest with others. They in turn will reciprocate and be honest with you. Everyone is happier and more optimistic with honest interaction between people.
I could go on and give other ways to have good mind control. Remember that thought control is an investment in yourself and the quality of life that you choose to live. Therefore, do not be cheap in the time and effort you put into this. It is both a short-term and long-term investment that will pay out great dividends throughout your life.
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